Scribes

Run: 1382
Location: Twizzle’s Car park
Hare: Hillary
Catering: Glasgow
Scribe: CannaeBeArsed

As the rheumy eyed and slightly dottled GM shuffled his way round the circle, the mutterings of  “need a scribe, mmmh must think of a pre run down-down, mmmh who was that new farm hand on The Archers, oaaaaah wonder if we’ve got any visitors today. I like visitors, they don’t know me, ooooh it’s a girl! Hmmm, wonder if she’ll hold my hand?” could unfortunately be heard by all. Which probably explained the giggling which snapped him out of his revelry as he was doddering past me, the soon to be scribe.

Oh well, part 1 of the GM’s tasks were now complete and on to part 2, introduce the visitor. This did seem to cause the old dotard a bit of problems in getting his tongue round Oral Sex, but eventually he managed to welcome her into the fold of the hash, before tripping head first into part 4 and handing himself off to the Hare for today’s fabrication of reality that is the trail.

Part 3 for the more observant will come somewhere near the end.

“There’ll be 4 spots and you’re on” says the Hare. “There’ll be some back checks as well! There’ll be a sweaty/sweetie check, a beer/whiskey Mac check and a long short split and the on-on’s that way”. This is starting to sound organized we mused as we ran twenty yards right into the first back check.

Bollocks! Thought I, it’s going to be one of those runs. Which was proved to be a very accurate description of the run as the first check had a rather irate Hare decrying all and sundry for not checking the right way and then man handling Bruce Almighty down the true path to the floury trail?

After about 4 more checks I soon had it sussed that if you couldn’t find the trail inside 10 seconds the Hare would “Bloody well show you what flour looks like”. This course of action did have a profound effect on Farmer who high tailed it past several loops of the trail and discovered a Hippo emerging from the River Dee, like a wee sleekit, coo’ering timorous beesty, looking for a trail to bring him to the great chieftain oh the pudding race. Or at the very least a beer check.

Several checks later and well past the Norwood hall we suddenly find a Farmer, a Hippo and a Penguin standing at a cross roads. From here there are 3 paths you can follow says the Bard. Path 1 may take you to Garthdee and all that is wild and scary. Path 2 may take you back to the cars and miss the beer, or path 3 may take you to the long/short split and then on to inebriation.  And so without a cry of on-on a Farmer and a Penguin buggered off up the hill leaving the poor Hippo wandering left and right along the road.

As we brave few front runners rounded a bend in the road a strange sight befell our eyes. It’s Harley walking the wrong way up a one way trail!
Alright, I admit it, there’s no such thing as a one way trail, but it sounds better than doesn’t he look lost. Thankfully the final slog was ahead and we reached the beer check with only a little bit of perplexity from some as to how One Liner and Numbskull managed to short cut the short cutters. The cheek! Bloody excellent beer/whiskey Mac check it was as well.

Circle and post run down-downs were called in the rear of Glasgow’s soup kitchen where the ever helpful GM offered to be the RA for the day. Thanks to his stupendous efforts at the start I thought I’d give the old boy a rest and let him off for his afternoon snooze.

Short cutting lazy git Down-downs go to: Farmer, Penguin and Hippo.
Hash crash/gash/slash/bash down-down goes to: Nipples
Metro sexual, wife’s panty wearing down-down goes to: Hippo
Hiding in the kitchen and eating all the food down-down goes to: Harley
Being stupid enough to stand in as Ra down-down goes to: CannaeBeArsed
Hash visitor down-down goes to: Oral Sex (not Blow Job as I called the poor Harriet)
I’ll stand in the circle and say “why” so that every one can start singing “was he born so beautiful to me” down-down goes to: Numbskull
For an “I didn’t give a down-down at the start of the run” down-down goes to: Numbskull
And finally the Hare down-down goes to: Hillary

Run over and time to eat drink and not recite any poetry by Rabbie Burns whatsoever. So in that respect a truly brilliant Burns run, made a hundred times better by the bountiful feast of winter vegetable soup, and freshly culled wild haggis with chappit tatters and neeps, cooked to perfection and great abundance by Glasgow. Thanks for putting up with us all again.

 

 

Run information for this scribe:
Run Number: 1382
Date: Sunday 25th of January 2009 11:00AM

Hare: Sir DEADmund Hill-ary, Glasgow & CC
OnOn: Twizzle's cark park, Dunmail Ave, Cults, NJ892028.
OnInn: Burn's Supper at Glasgow's Place, 378 North Deeside Road, Cults.
Extra Info: Dress appropriately to celebrate the Bards Birthday - he's 250 today!
Be prepared with some suitable poetry...


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Run
Date
Hare
Scribe Author
1910
Sunday 20th of January 2019
Sir Deadmund and Glasgow
no scribe!
Sunday 13th of January 2019
Penguin and Blagger
JC
Sunday 6th of January 2019
Toy Boy Tom
Muff Diver
Sunday 30th of December 2018
Pink Panther
Shaky
Sunday 23rd of December 2018
Numbskull
Emilia
Sunday 16th of December 2018
Olymprick and Gloria (Gloria!)
Blagger
Sunday 9th of December 2018
Smurf and WTF Alice
Toy Boy Tom
Sunday 2nd of December 2018
Bin Liner
Not Dot
Sunday 25th of November 2018
Wee Willie
Lazy Bastard Son
Sunday 18th of November 2018
Tonto
Twizzle
Sunday 11th of November 2018
Sergio
Numbskull
1899
Sunday 4th of November 2018
Shaky
Barbarella - no scribe!
Sunday 28th of October 2018
Red Stripe and No Name Janis
Wee Willy
Sunday 21st of October 2018
Pink Panther
Struth
Sunday 14th of October 2018
Fire Flaps
Not Dot
1895
Sunday 7th of October 2018
Twizle
no scribe!
Sunday 30th of September 2018
Joint Run set by Elgin H3. McCavity & Ballerina
One Liner
Sunday 23rd of September 2018
Thrupenny Bits
Panty Pockets
1892
Sunday 16th of September 2018
Bin Liner
no scribe!
Sunday 9th of September 2018
Barbarella assisted by Little Shit
Fire Flaps
1890
Monday 3rd of September 2018
Cinders and Aids
Little Shit - no scribe!
Monday 27th of August 2018
Sauerkraut
Delina
1888
Monday 20th of August 2018
Prickly Bush
Tonto - no scribe!
Monday 13th of August 2018
Fire Flaps
Twizzle
Monday 6th of August 2018
Barbarella
Binliner
1885
Monday 30th of July 2018
NotDot and Biggles
Drillbit - no scribe!
Monday 23rd of July 2018
Toy Boy Tom
Martin
Monday 16th of July 2018
Pink Panther
Sergio
1882
Monday 9th of July 2018
Bag of Bones and Pocket Pants
Dad of Smurf - no scribe!
1881
Monday 2nd of July 2018
Little Shit
Wee Willy - no scribe!
Monday 25th of June 2018
Tonto assisted by Eggfoo
Drillbit
Monday 18th of June 2018
Twizzle, Pensioners Run
Twizzle
1878
Monday 11th of June 2018
JC & Fifi
Tonto - no scribe!
Monday 4th of June 2018
Drillbit
Biggles
Monday 28th of May 2018
T-Rex Cock THE LITTLE BIG RUN
Hillary
1875
Monday 21st of May 2018
Sheikh Deadmund
no scribe!
1874
Monday 14th of May 2018
Wee Willie
no scribe!
Monday 7th of May 2018
Eveready
Olimprick
Monday 30th of April 2018
Toy Boy Tom
Haggissimo
1871
Monday 23rd of April 2018
Roger Me More
no scribe!
Sunday 15th of April 2018
Prickly Bush assisted by Shiggy Dick
Eveready
Sunday 8th of April 2018
JC and Fifi
Bag O'Bones
1868
Sunday 1st of April 2018
Hippo
High Maintenance - no scribe!
Sunday 25th of March 2018
T-Rex Cock and Lambton Worm
Glasgow
Sunday 18th of March 2018
Tonto
Eveready
Sunday 11th of March 2018
Fire Flaps assisted by Numbskull
Hill-Ary
1864
Sunday 4th of March 2018
Smurf
no scribe!
Sunday 25th of February 2018
Toy Boy Tom
Cinders
Sunday 18th of February 2018
Little Shit assisted by Sharnie
Toy Boy Tom
Sunday 11th of February 2018
Not Dot assisted by Biggles
Toy Boy Tom
Sunday 4th of February 2018
Red Stripe
Haggissimo
Sunday 28th of January 2018
Rats
JC
Sunday 21st of January 2018
Watzoff
Binliner
Sunday 14th of January 2018
One Liner
Wotzoff
Sunday 7th of January 2018
Ballerina
Thruppeny Bits
Sunday 31st of December 2017
Toy Boy Tom
Pink Panther
1854
Sunday 24th of December 2017
Numbskull
no scribe!
Sunday 17th of December 2017
Sergio
Red Stripe
Sunday 10th of December 2017
Muff Diver
Shite Boyfriend
Sunday 3rd of December 2017
Twizzle
One Liner
Sunday 26th of November 2017
Hippo
Fi Fi
Sunday 19th of November 2017
All Because
Little Shit
1848
Sunday 12th of November 2017
JC & Fifi
Barbarella - no scribe!
Sunday 5th of November 2017
Sir Deadmund Hilary and Glasgow
Twizzle
Sunday 29th of October 2017
Rats
Thrupney Bits
1845
Sunday 22nd of October 2017
Underlay
Wee Willie - no scribe!
Sunday 15th of October 2017
Fire Flaps
Toy Boy Tom
1843
Sunday 8th of October 2017
Little Shit
Numskull - no scribe!
Sunday 1st of October 2017
Pink Panther
Roger Me More
1841
Sunday 24th of September 2017
Bin Liner
Barbarella - no scribe!
Sunday 17th of September 2017
AGPU 2017 !!!
Rats
Monday 11th of September 2017
Aids & Cinders
Rats
1838
Monday 4th of September 2017
Barbarella
?? - no scribe!
1837
Monday 28th of August 2017
Watzof
?? - no scribe!
Monday 21st of August 2017
Wee Willie
Pigiron
Monday 14th of August 2017
Toy Boy Tom
Sauerkraut
Monday 7th of August 2017
Thrupenny Bits
Red Stripe
Monday 31st of July 2017
Hippo & Mrs T
Bin Liner
1832
Monday 24th of July 2017
Pink Panther
Biggles - no scribe!
Monday 17th of July 2017
Twizzle
OneLiner
Monday 10th of July 2017
Tonto & Egg Foo
Sergio
1829
Monday 3rd of July 2017
Fire Flaps
???? - no scribe!
Monday 26th of June 2017
Red-Stipe
Toy Boy Tom
1827
Monday 19th of June 2017
Long Shanks
Long Shank's sister - no scribe!
1826
Monday 12th of June 2017
Rats
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